March 2016

4 posts

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I never realized how much friendships change. You meet new friends and old ones change during stages of life. I remember telling someone, I think that we run into some people for a reason. Maybe with some purpose. Although it can be a short time, they can leave an impact on our lives whether it’s positive or negative. Their purpose maybe was either to teach us some lesson about ourselves, or to be a memory to inspire us or help us overcome adversity.

Trying to be friends with new people is hard for me. Although I had to do it for my kids to meet other kids to play with and to maybe break out of my shell and get to know people again.

Friendships goes through so many stages. I had many best friends through my lifetime as a kid. Then it narrows down as you go through life. You think that all the friendships would stay the same but as you grow and your life changes so does the friendships. It’s strange cause I didn’t think things would change after getting married and having children.

Now, it’s not just about me and going out until whenever I feel like. It’s me having to keep the kids busy and home in time for their naps. So far, I have only met a few who understand it but not all share the same view of having a routine to keep and trying to avoid melt downs.

you keep talking about how some friendships used to be but when in the present time, the stuff to talk about is always about how things were. Present conversations are filled with pauses and times awkward silences.Then it is back to square one.

We moved to a city where there is always a revolving door of friendships. I didn’t realize how one year I would finally meet other mom’s to connect with. Then later they move away and lose contact. It’s quite hard to build attachments.
While there are some friendships that fizzled out cause they decided to move on with their lives, i am left re-evaluating myself and asking my husband, did I do something wrong?
I am back to being that awkward nerdy pre-teen trying to look for a seat to sit and trying to start up a small talk conversation( without stuttering) out of nervousness. Treading carefully and hoping they don’t get scared of my nerdy-self.
I feel like times I’m just building a wall back up to protect myself from realizing that I am back to being alone at the lunch table.Then I remembered what I said before. They served their purpose and moved on with their changing live and I served my purpose in theirs.

The lesson for me is this, i thought the days of being that “person” alone at the lunch table would be done as an adult.

This train doesn’t stop. You just keep getting a new ticket to ride. Many stops along the way but there is always a train to catch.

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Since last week our household has been a gong show. We just settled into our new place not too long ago. So I got to take the kiddos to the gym with me which means they have been going to the kids club more often so I can have time to excercise again.
Then when I was picking up one kid from the kids club I see another kid throwing up.
First thing I thought was, poor little one. Then I was like hopefully there is no bug going around.

My daughter had a fever then other stuff to follow. The next day my son got it. After they gotten over a fever. We did some parents night out thing, both kiddos got sick with two different things. So trying to “contain” the sickness from going from one kid to another, it has proven to be mission impossible.

I was busy trying to sanitize everything but it was more stressfull. Trying to keep them not too close, while trying to not get sick myself is hard when you are all living in the same household.

I had to tell my daughter she can’t share things right now which is confusing cause we usually tell her to share.

So we had to all stay home for a week. No play dates until we are better. Then right when my daughter was getting better, I get sick. Now it’s another week or more of being contained at home. I will still walk outside with the kids except no play dates with other kids.

I kept thinking, how would I have been able to manage this all if I was still working. A week off then another week off from being sick.

I remembered back then when I got the chicken pox in the 80’s, I caught it from a classmate. I wasn’t allowed to be too close to friends or be in school. I remember my mom and dad were worried because I missed so much school, they thought maybe I can go back. I was still embarrassed because I still had all the spots on my face and the teacher said I wasn’t allowed back until it was completely gone. So even though I got to watch tv and stuff, it was lonely.

Then my sis and other friends caught it from me. It was a long time dealing with it and it probably wasn’t fun for my parents either. This just makes me think of how to manage this when I got back to work again. How do you manage to take care of the kids and having to miss work?

I just thought, being in the same house hold means you eventually get it anyways, or in my case, I get both sicknesses. It somehow skipped my husband so far. Probably cause he is a robot.

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I don’t think I have ever moved to so many places in my lifetime until now. We are moved again to another area of the city. Moving can be super stressful trying to settle into the new place and getting organized. However, my kids love to explore our new place. When we had to go to the house prior to moving, it was cute seeing them roam around the house and claim rooms.

My family and I lived in our house around 20 years. When my parents finally sold our old house, we were a little sad to let it go. So many memories of my childhood there. Some of old neighbours still live there while their kids(all grown up) moved on to a new place of their own to make new memories.

It is still my dream to have our own “forever home” for my kids to build childhood memories to reminisce about as they get older. Also, I want a front porch to sit outside with my husband as we become old. Maybe to people watch and drink lemonade until the sun goes down. Kick off the kids of the lawn with a roller stuck in my hair. Hahahah.

One can only dream.

 

 

 

I don’t always get to “doll up” anymore unless there is a wedding or a work party, then I take it as an opportunity to dress up and let the hair down and wear something that doesn’t have dried spit up or crumbs on it. Hahah.

i had this idea of my “fashion” timeline comic. Before kids, I told myself I would still try to dress up. The most I can do is getting my hair and makeup “passable”. I remember someone saying, oh did you want to put on some makeup (when we were getting ready for pictures) I was already wearing some and all I thought was, omg I look so tired that no one can tell I am wearing makeup. I felt a little sad. When I look back at old pictures I would think, how did I get to this? I don’t like being in pictures much cause I am my worst critic right now.

so I thought of this comic cause I feel like my beauty regime has suffered a lot and it makes me sad now and then. When i showed my husband my comic he told me to add a “future me” cause he said “you will go back to dressing up like you used to again.”

he just knows the right words to say 🙂

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